Adult Children?

3 minute read

oxymoron

noun (Definition from Oxford Languages)

A figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction.  

This is not about offspring that have become adults or childish adult behaviour, but rather, adults who have not finished the adolescent task of becoming free and who are able to use their freedom responsibly.

How many 40 plus year olds do you know who are stuck in holding their parents responsible for the outcome of their lives? They carry a grudge and choose to exercise blame.

They may be consciously or unconsciously punishing the parents in hurtful ways or pleasing them to meet unmet needs at the expense of themselves and their immediate family.

The task of becoming an adult is not a very easy one, by observation and experience!

While children are growing up, the parents or guardians are the ones responsible to protect and help them mature in all facets of life.

This responsibility then passes onto the young adult who is now the owner of their own lives and therefore because they are the owner, they have control and are responsible for themselves and they will bear the consequences or reap the benefits of the condition of their own life.

They own, everything inside themselves regardless of how things came to be that way, thereby freeing themselves, from becoming a chronic victim.

Things can get hard when the young adult has childhood wounds that are not seen as something that they own as an adult and need to find healing and resolution for.

Instead, the pain, loss, or injustice, goes on to infect their future family and inflict pain onto parents who no doubt have fallen short but often have done their best.

The person stuck here will be trying to get the parents off their head for ever when the answer is to take ownership and responsibility for the condition of their own life…

                                …and take that leap into true adulthood.