Families and Rivers

A family is a bit like a river.

It has a flow of water, full of life. Sometimes it’s calm , sometimes it’s not.

It also has river banks that hold and protect, define and direct the course of the river.

Our boundaries are like the river banks. they are the structures that keep the river and our family, safe and productive.

If the river banks are eroded or weak or cannot hold the strength of the river, it will flood over its banks damaging itself and the surrounding environment.

It’s just the same in our families, if our boundaries are eroded, weak or cannot hold the strength of our family, the children will push over the boundaries of the parents, damaging themselves and others around them.

As parents, we are designed to be the river banks for the family, holding the flow of life, bringing safety security and love into our family life.

No one else has the authority and responsibility for the children like the parents do.

Can you hold your '“no” to your children, comfortably and kindly?

Let’s be those strong and healthy river banks for our children, holding the lines, freely and responsibly with our appropriate “yes” and our appropriate ‘no”, being emotionally and physically present.

When this is difficult, it may be that there are reasons for the difficulty. We can take away any self judgement and replace it with self compassion and gratitude and work on our own personal growth first, finding the support of safe and knowledgeable people who will also be the river banks for us …

…as we find strength for ourselves in the parenting journey.